women of a certain age are like sunflowers; they know how to turn their faces to the sun.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Change We MUST Believe In - whether we want to or not...


"God asks no man whether he will accept life. This is not the choice. You must take it. The only question is how."

- Henry Ward Beecher

Yesterday I wrote about makeovers. Today I need one.

Doctor's office just called with the results of last week's blood work. I have diabetes.

I have always known it was a possibility, maybe even a probability. My mother was diabetic.

I managed to dodge that bullet for 52 years; today it found its way home.

No more hot fudge sundaes (Guess I better quit the Chocoholics group on Ravelry, huh?)

No more cherry pie.

No more strawberry shortcake.

No more Christmas toffee.

The Skittles have come home to roost.

This is what happens when you neglect your health and knit or write all day, folks!

So, diet and exercise. Might have to learn how to knit while pedaling my exercycle.

No need for insulin at this point, but I do get to bleed myself on a regular basis. Please tell me I don't have to prick my fingers. That would be hazardous to my work, which would, in turn, be deleterious to my mental health.

Blood on the yarn and all that...

Guess I'm feeling a little sorry for myself right now.

On the plus side, now I know what's wrong with me and I can take positive steps to fix it. And a weight loss should follow.

Although that means none of my clothes will fit...what a waste.

I went looking for more quotes on change, but instead found one on acceptance.

God doesn't ask us our opinion. We take the bad with the good. Sometimes we get out of jail free, and sometimes we do not collect $200.

But we just keep passing Go...

Addendum: I know it is not the end of the world. I have learned to deal with far worse. And it explains a lot of my vague symptoms, like tingling along my arms and the back of my neck, which I was beginning to think were figments of my imagination.

I was aiming for a lighthearted "phooey" tone. Guess by the tone of the last comment I received, I overshot my mark.

I in no way meant to convey the impression that I am curling up in a little ball. As I said above, we just keep passing Go. I'm nowhere near ready to stop playing the game. In fact, I intend to win.

Scratch that.

I intend to join hands with all the other players, put all our funny money in a big fat pot in the center of the board, buy Park Place and turn it into a shelter for battered women.

I also did not intend to imply that my problems were in any way worse than what y'all have to deal with on an everyday basis. One of the things I have learned in the past year as you have shared your lives with me, is that everyone has issues. Everyone has problems. Everyone lives their life as best they can.

On the other hand, a little random whining now and again should be allowed.

I'm no saint. I put my pants on one leg at a time, just like everybody else. And just like everybody else, I sometimes don't know what awaits me down the road, around the curve, and over the hill.

But I will tell you this: I intend to enjoy the ride and ALL the scenery along the way...

Besides, if something this ugly...


Can turn into something like this...


Then I guess a makeover won't be so bad.

Sorry to vent on y'all...Think I'll get out of the house for a little fresh air...

17 comments:

Theo said...

I have a small tatoo written in greek that simply says "start again". Every minute, every breath, start again. It helps. Blessings to you. You will be amazed how much better you feel when this is managed.(Oh, crap, I know..)

Pandora's Box of FIber said...

Susan, I love and respect you, but really? It's JUST diabetes. I've been insulin dependent for 26 freaking years. It's really nothing. And I still eat ice cream.

This is not even remotely the end of the world, and I hope you see that. You just need to take proper steps to make sure you do it right.

You get used to the finger sticks. And you stop bleeding fast enough that you will not bleed all over your yarn. Seriously.

I know it's a shock to the system, and I am sorry you have to deal with it. But it's not a black cloud over you. It's simply a lil lightning strike.

Good luck relearning how to pay attention to your eating. Now it's time for you to take responsibility for your health (blood tests, and HbA1C's included) You're smart enough and good enough to do this right.

Anonymous said...

Susan - knowledge is power - thankfully diabetes is well understood and easily treated with no life style changes - other than the ones you have known you should have been doing all along...which will make you even stronger so this is a blessing - really. With the new found energy and chemical balance you will soon have I can only imagine how incredible your designs will be - they are already over the top!! Caroline

momsue84 said...

My husband has been living with Type 2 for years. It's totally controlled with some diet modifications and medicine. He hates to exercise, so that isn't an option. Please don't worry too much. You can control this with a little effort and some good meds. Yes, he does test his blood sugar twice a day. However, they have meters now that use the forearm instead of the fingers. Good luck!

Megan said...

I'm sorry to hear that you have diabetes but I know you'll adjust, adapt, and be feeling better soon. big hugs to you!

AuntieAnn said...

I think it is perfectly normal to grieve a little, and then you'll make the changes you have to make and move on. That's how it has been for me and my asthma.

Hmmm, I really should get on that exercycle today myself . . .

teabird said...

I agree with AuntieAnn - grief is normal when you get a diagnosis like diabetes. You're going to have to change things, not because you'd like to, or because you think it would be nice to, but because you have to. You'll be fine - you're strong, you're creative, and you'll - well - be fine.

knitterbeader said...

Susan, sorry to hear about your diabetes, but you have good family, friends and God with you and you'll be doing just fine. And, you're allowed a little whimpering for yourself to begin with - any one of us would do the same thing. I don't have diabetes, nor in my family, but I'm dealing with a husband just diagnosed with cancer. So we all have our worries. Prayers are with you as you deal with this. I bet your designs will even be more fantastic as you get your energy up!!!

Vee said...

Susan, we all need a little whine from time to time, it's good for us. You have a good attitude and you will be just fine, even better than before with your new makeover.

Anonymous said...

Susan...enjoyed your reflection! I recently heard that the word acceptance has at its root a word that means to weave a thread through! So keep on weaving a thread and you'll find your way!

islander said...

you have many supporters and friends and customers and we all wish you to be the best you can be. a friend and I were discussing this topic earlier today, she is recently diagnosed and I am full of sympathy and 'how can I help thoughts'.
learn all about this problem, if you ever sang Mozart and were Queen of the Night, you can conquer anything.

Kathy

Auntly H said...

Don't give up the chocoholics just yet, but do come and join the Diabetic Knit and Crochet group at Ravelry. We're a friendly bunch who can offer advice, support, empathy....
fwiw, I've been testing from my fingertips for 18+ years (typically ~6x/day) and it hasn't affected my knitting. You can do alternate site testing (as BB King likes to mention), but it's not as accurate. Talk to your doctor about the options that will work for you.

alison said...

Susan, I don't have anything really practical or eloquent to say (as do others who have posted here today)--but I absolutely know you will file this in its proper place. The Light that shines through in your work will still be there, undiminished. See how lovely the makeover of your "ugly" swatch is!
Blessings
and thanks for the beauty you provide

Donna S. said...

Susan
I didn't even consider that whining or that you thot you had something worst than someone else. Geesh you are just talking to your buds here. That is what we are here for, isn't it?

BadCatDesigns said...

Knowledge is power, and remind yourself how much better it is to know what you are dealing with and have the option to make healthy changes now. I hope you gather up all the good wishes and they make things just a little better! I love your work, so stay healthy and keep designing.

La Cabeza Grande said...

Have a little whine. It's a fine vintage and may be good for you. As you say, you've surmounted other trials and, if you have the will to do so, you'll manage to put this life-changing situation into perspective as well.

Elysbeth said...

I'm glad you found out about it before it had progressed to far, IDDM is easier to deal with if you start early and can change with time.

Hugs.