women of a certain age are like sunflowers; they know how to turn their faces to the sun.

Monday, March 16, 2009


"The need for change bulldozed a road down the center of my mind."
- Maya Angelou

The problem with makeovers is...

I still look like me.

Which is fine, I suppose, but then what was the point of the whole endeavor? (besides trying to sell you a buttload of cosmetics or hair products or diet aids)

Besides, the message of most makeovers is: you are not good enough - we can make you better.

And isn't that a sad state of affairs?

Back in my opera days, I studied voice with five consecutive vocal coaches. Each one spent the first month telling me that everything the former coach had taught me was wrong and explaining why their way was better. And when my serious study ended, I was no closer to being Beverly Sills than when I began.

Very confusing - to say nothing of expensive.

Self- improvement isn't all bad. It does keep us growing and flexing our identities. It can make us better people, I suppose.

But at a significant cost to the psyche. We all too often fall into the quicksand of approval seeking, where we no longer know our inner truths and must therefore rely on others to define us. I spent years mired in that bog.

I think the key to effective self- improvement is the word "self". True growth must come from within, prompted by deep reflection (or chagrined acknowledgment of our many inadequacies - OY!)

Other- improvement is a barrier reef, one that has marooned many over time. We had best not try to change:
  • our spouse
  • our children
  • our bosses
For we will surely fail miserably, and waste a lot of time and goodwill doing so. That is the wisdom behind the saying, "Be the change you would see in the world."

When you get right down to the nitty-gritty, we can only and ever change ourselves.

And our knitting...

First Try

Too regimented, heavy, and closed in. I want something more open for summer lace.

Second Try

Too schizoid. Border just doesn't go with the lace pattern and I'm not that crazy about either one.

Third Try

I actually like this one, but it just seems too angular for a Zen scarf. Needs to be more organic.

Fourth Try

Stay Tuned...

It's a little like blind dating; you never know if this is going to be the one, until you sidle up, get cozy, and figure out if it makes your heart beat faster...


Megan said...

I'm not sure the third one is "zen" but I sure do like it. It seems very "playful" Can't wait to see how it evolves.

Anonymous said...

The third one remembers me the Midwest Moonlight Scarf, which is so pretty !

islander said...

the mystery lies on for another day. looking forward to the next chapter.


La Cabeza Grande said...

Regarding the design, I was thinking exactly the same thing as Choubidou: it's the Moonlight Scarf.

As for being mired in a bog approval-seeking how *do* you find your inner truth? I've been searching for answers on that one years.