women of a certain age are like sunflowers; they know how to turn their faces to the sun.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Laying On Hands

Jesus and Satan have a discussion as to who is the better programmer. This goes on for a few hours until they come to an agreement to hold a contest, with God as the judge.

They sit themselves at their computers and begin. They type furiously, lines of code streaming up the screen, for several hours straight. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning strikes, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power is restored, and God announces that the contest is over.

He asks Satan to show what he has come up with. Satan is visibly upset, and cries, "I have nothing. I lost it all when the power went out."

"Very well, then," says God, "let us see if Jesus fared any better."

Jesus enters a command, and the screen comes to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir pour forth from the speakers. Satan is astonished.

He stutters, "B-b-but how? I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact. How did he do it?"

God smiled all-knowingly, "Jesus saves."

************************************
This morning I got up, turned on the Today show, knit for several hours on Morocco, then decided it was time to get on line. I walked to my desk, pushed the power button on my laptop...

and nothing happened.

"BUGGER" does not cover this.

It doesn't even come close.

Now I back up on a regular basis: every Saturday night. However, when I thought back to all the design work I had done since last Saturday, I wanted to sit down and cry.

  • All the charts for Inland Sea
  • Corrected charts for Morocco
  • Beginning directions for Cheryl, my test knitter (I have a friend who believes in revelation by typo. The first time through I typed "teat" instead of test. Hmm... maybe I am taking this whole "who's-going-to-raise-my-baby's-twin" thing too literally...)
  • Correspondence with suppliers, with family, with friends
I was NOT a happy camper!

  • I tried unplugging it. Nope...
  • I tried cleaning it. No Ma'am...
  • I tried blowing compressed air into its innards. Nada...
  • I tried disconnecting everything and reconnecting it. Zip...
  • I tried putting it in a paper sack, going out on the front lawn, waving it around in a circle over my head, and clucking like a chicken...

Wait a minute. That wasn't me. It was Dick Van Dyke.

My ever helpful hubby suggested removing the battery and replacing it. Of course, first I had to find it...

The digital thermostat was starting to sound like a piece of cake.

Upon locating the battery 20 minutes later, I removed it, placed my hands upon the lid, and, before reinserting the battery, said a variation of the prayer I say whenever I begin my meditation:

"Come Holy Spirit. Come as the fire and burn. Come as the wind and cleanse. Convert and consecrate my life to my great good and your great glory."

Only I substituted "my computer" for "my life."

Crazy? Maybe.
Sacrilegious? Possibly.
Effective? YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS IT WAS!!!!!!

That little electronic gizmo trembled under my hand, gave a little "whirr" of contentment, and sprang to life under my fingertips. Hallelujah! We have seen the promised land!

Now I don't know that God directly intervened. I sort of hope he has better things to do. All I know is, my computer is on, I am in business, and...

What was that third thing?

Oh yeah. Now I remember.

My files are fully backed up. On a Thursday, no less.

Because, while Jesus may indeed save, I think he could use a little assist from the peanut gallery now and again...

Just to be sure.

8 comments:

Lisa said...

I am sooo glad you got it working! That would have been tragic if you had lost all your work.

Pat K said...

I laughed and laughed...

Glad you got the computer to work.

Teresa C said...

So funny. :)

Cheryl, the jungian Knitter said...

What a great post to read as I am awaiting the arrival of my new MacBook tomorrow. And my fingers are happily awaiting the arrival of the yarn and pattern and beads so I can settle in and knit. :-)

Jejune said...

Very funny story :) I'm an obsessive file backer-upper now, especially since having my computer stolen a few years ago....

Visit my blog for a nice surprise :)

Opal said...

Eek! How scary! I'm so glad things worked out for the best. I gotta remember that prayer though. It'll probably come in handy sometime. ;-)

KNITSABELLA said...

reading this, I just couldn't stop myself from laughing out loud. the husband (and dog, and cat) looked at me as if i was insane until i read it out loud. then the both of us laughed, which was doubly wrong, because your computer misadventure was so unpleasant that we shouldn't be laughing, but sharing in your pain. thankfully, all is well again in the universe! i cannot even imagine what i would do if things i had worked so hard on just up and poofed. im sure jesus appreciates your help in the saving department =)

mastiffmom404 said...

So glad to have found you (through the lace pattern page on ravelry). Love your work!!! Thanks for modeling the country cherry shawl. Wish I looked that good with no makeup!!

Can't wait to get my hands on the cherry shawl pattern and am anxiously awaiting for moroccan days. Thanks