"When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
- Yogi Berra
- Yogi Berra
I hate making decisions.
Decisions can be enabling; they can move us forward into fresh endeavors; they can encourage our eyes to see new vistas; they can open windows.
Unfortunately, they can also close doors. And that's the rub. I just hate to rule anything out. I like to keep my options open.
Besides, what if I make the wrong decision? What if I say goodbye to someone who could change my life? What if I turn down a job that could take my career to new heights? What if I say, hear, do, feel...
The wrong thing.
I confess to having extreme procrastination syndrome. (I wonder if that is a tax deductible medical condition?) It's not that I don't want to do things. the problem lies rather in the fact that I can't decide what to do first.
Or after that.
Whether we are speaking of chores, errands, work responsibilities, or Ravelry, our queues are too long. We don't know which project to tackle first.
When my kids were babies, priorities were easy. Their well-being came first, my sanity came second, and my husband's and my time together came in distantly third.
After that, all bets were off.
Priorities today are more complicated. I have sixteen waking hours today. So do I:
- knit on current projects
- design future ones
- Write up the patterns
- research ideas
- post on my blog
- work on the estimate for my next writing gig
- read other's blogs
- market my finished patterns
- network with other knitters
- clean my house
- cook a home meal
- pay bills
- wash clothes so I have clean underwear
- get the house ready to put on the market
- make my Xmas returns
- take a shower
- shovel the driveway
- catch up with friends
- Moroccan Days
- Inland Sea
- Another temporarily snoozing UFO
Unfortunately, it is also less productive.
Design decisions are just as difficult. I do a lot of trying out and frogging back at the start of a project. The sea green shawl ( called Inland Sea) is on its fifth iteration. First I did 4 purl rows to draw the line between the sand stitch border and the cabled part of the shawl. Then I decided 2 looked better. Rip.
I did simple diagonal ribbing on the second section, but it looked clumsy. Rip.
I changed to a cabled ribbing. Better. Then I decided to wave rather than cross the 3 stitches. Aha!
This is why I don't use test knitters more often. If someone else knits it, the decisions must be made up front, before you send the pattern out. Not worked out as you knit. Once you send that pattern, you close the door.
That is hard for a visual thinker to do. A chart can only tell you so much. I need the feel of the yarn under my hands to jump start the creative process. I need to listen to the yarn for a while, until it tells me what it wants to be.
I feel like I am taking a flyer on the Arabian Nights version of Moroccan Days. I am picking the beads based solely on a snapshot Kim sent me of the other colorway. I am trusting that someone else's vision will complement my own. I am hoping that the center panel will look right, before I can see if I like it. I am trusting my writing capabilities to adequately communicate the directions.
I am allowing someone I have never laid eyes on to bring up Morocco's twin. Would you do that with one of your babies?
But I have no choice. My days are full. My fingers cannot keep up with my brain. And my brain cannot keep pace with my muse. Something has gotta give.
So, I have made a decision. Yay me! Pattern goes out tomorrow. I'll close my eyes, push enter...
And send my baby out into the world on a wing, a prayer...
And a high speed Internet connection.