women of a certain age are like sunflowers; they know how to turn their faces to the sun.

Friday, June 4, 2010

I'm a Slacker


Who ever is out of patience is out of possession of their soul.
- Francis Bacon

Thank you for the messages of support. They are wonderfully kind and dear to me.

I want to re-emphasize that the problem is not one of unhappy customers. Unhappy customers are part of business.

It is not a matter of self-image. I may have experienced a very dark day of the soul, but it was largely due to a chemical imbalance and a pharmacy mistake, rather than crippling self doubt.

And the problem is not a crisis of confidence in my design capabilities. In fact, it is not connected with knitting in any way.

And that was sort of my point. Not everything is public. Not everything is on the surface. Not everything is spilled out on line.

It is easy to make "friends" these days. We can push a button and send a request. We can just as easily push another button and withdraw that friendship.

We forget how long it takes to truly know someone; to become the best of friends.

We think we know people because we have read their blog, or purchased their yarn, or chatted them up on Facebook or Ravelry.

But we don't. Not really.

I am not saying you cannot have an online relationship. I have met many wonderful people on line and some of them are you.

But I am often surprised when I finally see a picture or meet someone in person whom I have known on line. They are taller, shorter, fatter, thinner, younger, older, louder, quieter, funnier, shyer, etc. etc. etc...

than I had pictured them in my imagination.

It is much like the casting process for a movie based upon a beloved book. We think, "OH NO! That person is totally wrong for the part."

We do not know the entirety of their existence. We do not know their hopes & dreams & fears. We do not know their families.

We do not know what is going on in people's private lives. Only their public ones.

And since that is the case, we need to cultivate patience. We need to plant it in our souls, water it with the milk of human kindness, and allow it to blossom in our collective communities.

We need to cut ourselves and each other a little slack.

Let's assume the other person is NOT an asshole.

Let's consider what we know versus what we are presuming, before we touch the keys of the laptop.

Let's try to work things out, before filing a complaint.

Let's really listen with our hearts to try and catch the subtext of what people are really feeling.

Let's give each other the benefit of the doubt.

Let's try to help one another.

Let's be slow to anger and fast to care.

Let's replace the culture of "me first" with the reality that we are all in this together.

Let's yield to and merge with oncoming human traffic, instead of pushing our way to the front of the line.

Let's slow down and step back and take a deep breath.

Let's reclaim civility and graciousness for our times.

Let's stop being mad as hell and not willing to take any more.

Lets put up our pitchforks and beat them into plowshares.

Let's create rather than destroy.

Let's be the blessed peacemakers, the other cheek turners, the good Samaritans.

Let's cut the car in front of us, the person alongside us, the child who follows us, some slack.

Let's be kind to one another.

Because we are all we've got.

Let's be slackers.


I have a new button on my sidebar. If this message resonates with you, you are welcome to snag it for your own.

Thanks for listening and God bless.

I'm a slacker.

How about you?

16 comments:

Lorien said...

Sounds so simple and common sense, doesn't it? But why do we treat each other so cruelly? Thanks for the reminder, and BIG HUGS to you!

Sara said...

Love this blog! I'm a slacker, too. Thanks for the reminder. :)

adriene said...

Bravo! And thanks for being brave enough to say it!

browneyegurl35 said...

Gracias, Yes I am a slacker. Nice blog

Nan said...

So very well put.
Slackers unite!

Pugs and Kneedles said...

Perfection! Those are the wisest words I've read in a long long long time. Thank you.

Rabbitknitz said...

Your post really hit home for me, today--thanks, Susan!

Donna Lee said...

I am a slacker. I have been called a pollyanna and naive because I choose to believe the best of people and not to always question their motives (which I am sure are pure!)

Lindsey said...

That Friend speaks my mind.

krayola said...

Thanks...so well said.

LadyDragonfly said...

I just want to say thank you Susan. Your patterns and your wit on Plurk have been a blessing to me. I can't wait to see what else comes from the LoTR series.

MRPP said...

These are genuine WORDS OF WISDOM and no mistake. Thank you, Susan, thank you thank you *THANK YOU*...

teabird said...

another slacker here -- amen!

Laurie said...

Susan, I've missed most of this drama, but wanted to add my support. You are so right - no one knows what another is going through and no one is perfect. An understanding heart goes a long way. I am slowly emerging from my own dark hole, and my work on Evenstar has helped me so much - giving me a sense of accomplishment and success and helping restore some badly battered confidence. Thank you for this. :-)

MsAmpuTeeHee said...

De-lurking to say: I'm a slacker, indeed; Last couple of posts = beauty; Warmest wishes being sent to you.

robyngoodfellow said...

finally getting a chance to read some blogs, so sorry to comment on an older post. Just wanted to tell you that "Slacker" is a term of endearment from my StepDa.