women of a certain age are like sunflowers; they know how to turn their faces to the sun.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Home

"Homeward bound,
I wish I was,
Homeward bound,
Home where my thought's escaping,
Home where my music's playing,
Home where my love lies waiting
Silently for me.
Silently for me"

-Paul Simon

Actually, I am already home, and not bound to anything but the craft and people I love.

I find myself reflecting on what precisely it is that makes a place home.

I have been at the lake visiting family for the past several days and, for some reason, the life that I usually slip seamlessly into, like a well-worn glove...

Felt scratchy. And itchy. And just not quite comfortable.

Like it (or I) didn't fit.

And I wonder...

Why?

Usually, I feel a sense of calm steal over me when I am in Leland. It has this magical soothing effect on my psyche. My soul settles down and says...

Aaaaahhhhhhh...

But this time, I felt my ends flapping loose (fancy-shmancy writerly way to say "at loose ends") And I didn't seem to know quite how to gather them back in.

I think it is because I just had a welcome respite, with my cruise, and therefore was not in need of a break.

I think it is because I had trouble with my email (again!!!!) and felt a little cut off from y'all.

I think it is because I missed my DH, who I am closer to than ever before, now that the kids are grown and we have so much time to ourselves.

I think it is because home is not a place.

Home is a state of mind.

Home is the feeling that you are meant to be precisely where (and what) you are.

Home is where your horizons open up and your inhibitions close down.

Home is where everything seems possible and nothing seems unnatural.

Home is where you start from

And where you come to rest.

Sometimes home is Leland...

And sometimes home is Indy...

And all times, home is where I get to be with the ones I love.

Lucky me...

***

What did I do while I was gone?

A little of this...


A little of that...


And a whole lotta this other thing...


That's Mendhi up top - Rose (Garden Variety Collection) in the middle (which suffered a slight pullback and design tweaking last weekend) - and the next installment in the zen collection (whose name I am too lazy-assed to look up right now) on the bottom.

Added later:
Oh yeah - Mantra! That's what the beige one is called...

It's good to be home.

2 comments:

Maria said...

I'm pretty sure you keep giving us glimpses of Mendhi to keep us salivating. That is so gorgeous!!!

knitterbeader said...

You have such a way with words and I always look forward to each of your new postings. You're so right how when the kids leave home you become (or can become) even closer to your DH. I know it happened with me and I am so enjoying it. Enjoying still working on your TAIZE scarf pattern. As a very beginning lace knitter, I'm learning when and where I can work on it (certainly not at our knitting meet-up! Tempted to also order the NAMASTE which I drool over every time I open your blog page. It'll get me one of these days soon and I'll punch the BUY button. Thanks for your beautiful words and patterns.