women of a certain age are like sunflowers; they know how to turn their faces to the sun.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

Conspiracy Theory

Yesterday, I had visitors to my blog from around the world. Now, this is nothing new. Many of us have created a far-flung family of friends and neighbors through the matchmaking abilities of the Internet. But I honestly had no idea how many people were lurking about until I got Stat Counter. (Thanks for the suggestion, guys!)

Such a good word: lurker. One of those underutilized -yet-redolent-with-shades-of-meaning words. I keep envisioning young layabouts hanging out in the mouth of the digital alley, outside Pop's Candy Store, smoking cigarettes, looking out for Officer Krepsky, waiting for the music to start so they can break into song.

I digress... (I do that a lot)

What caught my attention yesterday was not one visit, but two. Yesterday, my humble home in the blogosphere was visited by two of the three"Axis of Evil", as our fearless leader so dubbed them. That's right, boys and girls. A Few Stitches Short has made its Iranian and North Korean debut.

And both of them got to my site by googling, "Malabrigo Laceweight Olive."

Hmmmmmmmmmm!

I find this cause for extreme panic, involving calling Homeland Security and raising the Def Con level slightly suspicious, don't you?

What dastardly (another underutilized word) plot could they be hatching?

What is the connection between Malabrigo and our enemies? How much do we know about this South American import? Have we been monitoring Malabrigo's phone lines? Have we been analyzing its chemical components? Have we infiltrated the flock of sheep which produce the wool? Do we have an operative within the organization reporting every move they make into the files of the FBI, CIA, and Secret Service?

And what subversive activities has "Deep Sheep" found?

Paranoid Enquiring minds want to know.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have phone calls to make. If you don't hear from me for a while, it's probably because I'm being held for questioning...

Hmm. Maybe I want to rethink this. Do they allow knitting needles in Gitmo?

5 comments:

Carie said...

Have you been sniffing the yarn too much again? or perhaps your subconscious is trying to find away for you to avoid the Christmas knitting (I'm pretty sure no needles in Gitmo - even for Christmas knitting)?

Congratulations on "making it" in part of the Axis (the fulcrum perhaps?) - two down, one to go

Pat K said...

You have a dastardly wicked sense of humor. "Deep Sheep" will have me laughing for a long time.

La Cabeza Grande said...

From digital layabout to Deep Sheep operatives within a few ingenious moves. I'm sure Malabrigo is an anagram for something subversive, right? After all, it means "bad coat" if translated literally. Code, I tell you. Code.

Angelic said...

Maybe when you arrive at Guantanamo you can become some sort of a McGyver knitter; make yarn from local plants and needles from other objects like melting plastic spoons in the right shape?

Angelic said...

A tattoo should do the trick. Or maybe you can hook up with the local doctor ;-)