I Believe

"Walk blindly to the light and reach out for his hand
Don't ask any questions and don't try to understand
Open up your mind and then open up your heart
And you will see that you and me aren't very far apart

'Cause I believe that love is the answer
I believe that love will find the way"

_ Blessed Union of Souls

First, before I forget, thank you to everyone who has left supportive messages here, in my email, and on Ravelry. They were not necessary, but they were much appreciated none the less.

And NO, I will NOT believe my own press - LOL - that way lies a swelled head and a false sense of worth.

I will however tuck the love within my breast pocket close to my heart, a little something extra to warm my soul when I'm feeling low. You are an amazing group.

I have thought a lot about the events that transpired this weekend and realized my part in the whole mess: I should not have gotten upset; I regret that.

I also erred in leaving the arena to fill up with people taking sides. Had I realized that was happening, I would have tried to head things off at the pass, before things were said on both sides that hurt.

It is all too easy to define ourselves by the "other", by what we are NOT. "Well, at least I'm not doing what SHE is doing"... Or "I would never"... Or even " How dare THEY?"...

This kind of divisive thinking leads to a whole lot of unhappiness in our world. And it is unnecessary, in my opinion. US vs. THEM is no way to go through life.

I don't believe anyone is evil. I don't believe demonizing helps us in any way, shape or form. It leads us to easy targets instead of hard choices.

So, what DO I believe?

I believe every person carries the light of God within them from birth. When I attack another of God's children, I turn my back on that light and disrespect not only the person, but myself as well. We are better than that.

I believe if we only do what cannot fail, we miss the best of what we have to offer the world. We must not run or hide or hang our heads if we are less than 100% successful in everything we do. We have so much potential in our hearts & souls and the world needs every blessed one of us.

I believe we should reach high. That way, when we come up short, which we usually do, we are still above the mediocrity so much of our world wallows in.

I believe we are still learning and evolving. We may not be what we will yet become, but, by God, we are not what we once were. And that is progress of the best kind. Whether it is a new knitting stitch or a new way of seeing the world, no one has all the answers. To each of us is given a piece of the puzzle; we must work together to make a harmonious whole.

I believe only she who is without fault can cast the stones. Don't know about you, but that definitely leaves me out of the rock throwing business.

I believe in the communion of saints, and by that I do not mean those marble statues in church. I mean us. Quakers are often accused of eliminating the clergy. We have not. We have eliminated the lay person. All of us are saints. All of us carry God within.

I believe we can accomplish more by working together, than we can by pulling apart.

I believe it is better to build up than to tear down.

I believe girls like Legolas, but women prefer Aragorn ( oops - wait a minute - I digress - my bad!)

I believe in purposeful living. We are not just marking time. We are here for a reason. Our lives matter. They mean something.

I believe it is the responsibility of each individual to discover for themselves what that purpose is.

I believe my purpose is to love and support those I come into contact with on a day to day basis, whether that individual is a member of my family, an unhappy customer, or the man selling brooms outside the downtown post office door.

I believe, when we fall, we should pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and not waste time in moaning about it; we must learn from it, and go on about our business, which is, to paraphrase the Ghost of Christmas Present, "[hu]mankind."

I believe forgiveness is the hardest challenge we face in life, and the one that builds the most character.

I believe in the power of love to overcome death, war, pestilence, anger, sloth, selfishness, petty argument, bigotry, and all the other ills which our world is heir to.

I believe that even as we wind our way to the end of our journeys , we plant the seeds for a new beginning.

That is what I believe. What about you?

Great Expectations

"There is no greater enemy to those who would please than expectation."

- Michel Eyquem De Montaigne

"Public opinion is a weak tyrant compared with our own private opinion. What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather indicates, his fate."

- Henry David Thoreau

I was already planning a post today on expectations, and I now find myself skewered by them.

There are some very unhappy knitters on Ravelry and they are voicing their disappointment in Evenstar.

That is their right. It goes with the territory. I live my life, to a certain extent, in the public arena. With great successes, come great expectations.

And perhaps I had a few expectations as well. I expected to please 1000 people. I probably shouldn't have.

Expectations can be wonderful things; they allow us to dream our dreams and build wonderful castles in the sky. They can also take on a life of their own, if we let them.

This time last year, I was looking forward to the cruise I took with my husband in celebration of our 30th anniversary. I had almost as much fun during the planning of that trip as I did during it.

I thought about what to pack, what shore excursions we should take, which islands we should visit, what cabin we should spring for. I did research on line. I joined travel chat rooms. I did everything I could to fulfill my expectations for that vacation, our first in many years.

But a funny thing happened on our way to the ship. We missed our flight. The airline lost our luggage. We found ourselves in San Juan with the clothes on our backs & the swimsuits in our carry-on.

We sat on deck before sailing, with a lovely breeze flowing over us and the sun beaming down. We had drinks with parasols in them.

But DH was so angry over the screw ups that he couldn't enjoy the beauty of the day. His experience failed to live up to his expectations and he was unable to reconcile the two. I told him to relax; they would find our bags (which they did - eventually) and we should make the best of it.

Because our expectations weren't met, we wasted the first day of our vacation fuming & fussing, instead of relaxing and we will never get that day back.

The basic facts of life are this: we cannot control our world. We are not in charge. Sometimes things will work out to our benefit. And sometimes they won't. No matter how many precautions we take, no matter how much experience we have, no matter how hard we work, sometimes things just don't go how we thought they would.

We must not allow our expectations to get the better of us. Therein lies only grief.

A parent's expectations begin during pregnancy. This child will be special. This child will be a doctor. This child will always love me. This child will look like me, talk like me, have all my virtues, but none of my faults.

We bring some of those same expectations to our other relationships as well. And we find that people in real life are rarely what we expected.

Ultimately, all we can do is hope for the best, expect something somewhat less than that, and learn to accept the fact that neither we, nor the world we live in, are perfect.

One of the perils of living a more public life than in the past, is the very real possibility that people will expect more of you than you, in fact, are capable of.

As my business has grown over the past few years, I have found people who think I am famous. I have found people who imagine I live a charmed life, out on a real life sunflower farm somewhere. I have found people who expect my patterns to transcend the norm. I have found people who expect perfection.

And I have disappointed them.

In truth, I live an existence as flawed and full of contradiction as anyone else in this world. I eat too much, exercise too little, forget to buy the milk at the grocery store, have good days & bad days, procrastinate too often, call my friends too in-often.

I knit just like you. I make mistakes just like you. And I try my best to fix them just like you.

I asked a burning question on Plurk this past week: Do we expect too much of our artisans? Do we forget that what makes a hand-made item special, also makes it flawed?

We could, after all have a machine made sweater for much less money and effort. Every stitch would be the same. Everything would be perfect.

But it would not be a product of our love for the individual and our passion for our art.

And I think that would be sad.

I could set up my software, plug in the stitches & measurements, have it spit out a flawless pattern, which I could then try to sell as my own.

But what fun is that? It would be stale & lifeless, predictable & inert. Computers are very good at perfection. They are very bad at creativity.

Creativity requires the human spark and that human touch comes with imperfection attached.

Over the last few weeks, I have seen several people cease their creative endeavors, because they decided that the joy they got from creating art or supplying those who do simply wasn't worth the unpleasantness that occurred when they failed to meet someone's expectations. I have seen the pain of honest people doing the best they can and discovering it isn't enough.

Are we setting them, as well as ourselves, up for failure?

Several years ago, I struggled with depression brought on by my inability to cope with the truth: I am not now, nor will I ever be: perfect.

Anyone who expects differently should not buy my patterns.

They should also not travel, not have children, not get a job, not get married, not knit, for that matter. All these things, at one time or another, will not go as they expected.

I aim to please. Sometimes I miss. When I do, I pick myself up, dust myself off, and carry on (a little worse for wear, but standing still)

I think Thoreau said it far better than I can. Public opinion does not dictate private character. I work very hard at my craft. I love knitting with a passion, one that I share freely with anyone who wishes to join me.

I ask your forbearance for my faults and beg your forgiveness for my earlier outburst on the boards at the KAL. It seems that, just like you, I get angry. Just like you, I can have my feelings hurt. Just like you, I have feet of clay.

Who knew?

Errata

YIKES! Clue 3 of Evenstar is cursed!

Move beginning of round ten st to right, not 5 before starting clue #4. I forgot we had increased by doubling the number of stitches. 5 st at end of chart equals TEN once you do the increase round.

My bad...

You want the purled stitches in clue 4 to line up with the highest leaf tip in clue 3 and the lowest valley.

You don;t have to do this, but it aligns the two sections.

A Little Knowledge Goes a Long Way

Be curious always! For knowledge will not acquire you: you must acquire it.

- Sudie Back

I remember when my youngest brother lived at home for a while when he was in college. My mom was fit to be tied, because he went out so much.

She called me one morning, practically in tears, to tell me he had not come home the night before. She said (and I quote) "YOU never did anything like that.

"Actually Mom", I said, " I did exactly that. You just never knew about it because I was away from home living in the dorm."

Some things you are just better off NOT knowing. I try to remember that when I am tempted to delve too deeply into my offspring's business.

DH calls it, "ostridging." I call it stress prevention. I figure what I don't know can't hurt me and if it gets to the point where I need to know, it will become readily apparent. In fact, it will blow up so big that I trip over it, on my way to the bathroom, or the confessional, or the bank where they've run out of funds.

Not that knowledge is bad, but sometimes it is unnecessary. Do I really want to know what my adult kids are fighting over? Do I want to know what goes on behind closed doors? Do I want to know if they think I am fat, old & irrelevant? Do I look like I'm crazy?

Sufficient unto each day are the problems thereof.

At times, knowledge can be frustrating. Sometimes, you know something that others don't. Sometimes you feel you will fairly burst if you do not tell someone, anyone. Sometimes you wish they hadn't told you.

But they did.

I have been keeping a secret for my DIL and eldest son. They are going to have a baby in September, their first! We are so excited and the happy couple is really looking forward to becoming a family.

Speaking of knowledge...

Nope, sorry, can't show you pics of Evenstar, but I can fill you in on what has been happening with the Fellowship of the Ring patterns (over there on the sidebar, if you are looking to sign up)





The Dwarrowdelf stole is shaping up nicely. I have completed the back strip & am working my way down the length now. I just blocked what I have so far to ensure the crosswise piece was going to line up with the lengthwise ones.


Lothlorien is awaiting additional yarn from the fine folks at Unique Sheep - came up a little short when I got the design in place


And yesterday I cast on for a Rivendell Smoke Ring (surprise!) Not sure if this will be offered as an add on for the Fellowship or the Two Towers


I think that brings y'all up to date. Hope that is enough to satisfy your curiosity today.

A little knowledge goes a long way...

Evenstar Errata

Clue #3, row 49:

sk2p is a wonky floating marker row, like row 43.

The first two stitches are knit together, and the last stitch of the rep is slipped over.

So the peeps who had no trouble, disregarded my note in the beginning of the clue and those who followed my every word, went astray by one stitch.

I am so sorry for the confusion!

Errata-Legolas

There are changes to rows 3, 4, & 14 on all repeats of chart 2

First time through

Row 3 (RS) Change last K3 to K2; should read:**k1, yo, k3, yo, k1, yo, k3, k3tog, p2, k3, yo, k1, yo, k3, k3tog, p2, k3, yo, k1, yo, k2,
k3tog, yo; rep from * to last st. k1

Row 4 (WS) remove p10 from p10,k1, p11; should read: k1, p10, (k2, p10) twice, k1, p11 (k2, p10) twice, k2

Row 14 (WS) combine p5, p4 to be p9; should read:k1, p3, (k2, p10) 3 times, k2, p9, (k2, p10) 3 times, k2, p4, k1


Second time through


Row 3 (RS): *k1, yo, k3, yo, k1,, yo, k3, k3tog, (p2, k3, yo, k1, yo, k3, k3tog) 3 times, p2, k3, yo, k1, yo, k2, k3tog,. yo; rep from * to
last st. k1
Row 4 (WS): k1, p10, (k2, p10) 4 times, k1, p11 (k2, p10) 4 times, k2
Row 14 (WS): k1, p3, (k2, p10) 5 times, k2, p9, (k2, p10) 5 times, k2, p4, k1


Third time through

Row 3 (RS): *k1, yo, k3, yo, k1, yo, k3, k3tog, (p2, k3, yo, k1, yo, k3, k3tog) 5 times. p2, k3, yo, k1, yo, k2, k3tog, yo; rep from * to
last st. k1
Row 4 (WS): k1, p10, (k2, p10) 6 times, k1, p11 (k2, p10) 6 times, k2
Row 14 (WS): k1, p3, (k2, p10) 7 times, k2, p9, (k2, p10) 7 times, k2,
p4, k1

CHART 2 CORRECTION: Row 24, sq 23 should be purl symbol

This pattern was very difficult to proof, due to the sheer volume of the written directions. I now have corrections from at least 5 different people who have each caught something the others did not. I have chosen to chart more complex patterns in the past due to this difficulty.

I am not a written directions person. I knit from the chart.I know however that many of you would not be knitting these patterns were they only available as charts. I do not want to exclude you.

I had hoped that proofing would be enough, but in this case, it appears it was not. Again my apologies for your frustration.

If any of you written directions peeps would like to test knit, please let me know. My test knitters are chart readers & clearly I need someone to test the written directions as well.

I hope this is the end of the difficulties. I share your pain...

Susan

Drive-By...

"Hasten slowly and ye shall soon arrive."

-Latin proverb

Things have been a bit busy today, so not a lot of time...

But I wanted to share progress pics of Dwarrowdelf with you. I have finished the back strip and am beginning to knit down from it. The yarn continues to delight me. Will let you know as soon as I have firm amounts.



Third clue for Evenstar comes out tomorrow at 3:00 EST.

Back to the salt mines...

Change It Up

"The most fatal illusion is the settled point of view. Since life is growth and motion, a fixed point of view kills anybody who has one."

-Brooks Atkinson

Hope no one will be too disappointed in a change that happened over the last week.

I do my best, when selling subscriptions to stick to the released plan. People don't like it when you change things too much. Especially if they have paid for it.

The yarn I intended to use for Dwarrowdelf just wasn't working for me. It was too variegated and too blue, where I wanted something darker.

I have however ordered it in a DK weight and am hoping to use it for a Misty Mountain piece.

Here is the final design element for Dwarrowdelf.


The yarn is Madelinetosh sock in Thicket, a lovely dusky, earthy eggplant type color. I looked at black & charcoal, but it was too stark. Dwarrowdelf isn't an evil place. Yes, the Balrog lives there, yes, it has been overrun by cave trolls. But is was once the great hall of the Dwarven Kings of Old. It has been forgotten & neglected.

I think this color perfectly captures the essence of that feeling - faded out to a dusty echo of what was once royal purple.

The stole is knit in an interesting fashion. A back strip is knit in two pieces & grafted at center to form a pattern like this: <<<>>>. then the ends are knit down from the sides of that strip. turning the pattern upside down results in a repeating arched pattern reminiscent of the great hall itself.

I have been told I over-think things, but this just seems right to me. I have ever used an intuitive process when it comes to design, and my gut tells me when the knitting is right.

I also swatched over the weekend for the front bands of the mithril vest.



Change is the only constant in our lives. We do well to embrace it...

Errata

LEGOLAS: written directions, chart2 row 3(all repeats):

Typo in the line; where it says k5, it should be k3. Chart is correct.

Workin' On It

"Work: Something made greater by ourselves and in turn that makes us greater."

-Maya Angelou

I am overwhelmed by the response to my patterns today - literally!

I will try to get through all the orders and get your Legolas pattern out to you by end of day.

Thank you for your patience!