Capturing Lightning in a Jar

This morning when I came down into my studio, there was a bug flitting around the room. He (or she. I didn't ask. It didn't tell.) kept flying towards the open windows, searching for a way out of his dilemma. But the screens kept thwarting his attempts towards freedom.

After a while, I got close enough to trap the bug in my hands and let him back into the great outdoors, where he gratefully flew the coop. (Would that Baby Boy was that easy to let go of...)
And I remembered sweet summer evening twilights spent catching fireflies in mayonaisse jars and adorning ourselves with clover chains (Do kids even know to do this anymore? Or am I dating myself?)

Mom would always make us release the lightning bugs at the end of the evening, her voice prevailing over our protestations. "But M-O-M!" (How do you indicate a whine? Does this do it for you?) "It's MY lightning bug. See? I put grass in the jar and made a nest. Can't I keep it?"

Mom knew we didn't really own that bug. She knew that if you hold onto things too tightly, they die. You have to let things go, if you want them to thrive.

*************************

Ownership has been much on my mind this past week.

As you may remember I am a writer, eagerly awaiting the publication of my first book this fall. All of you who publish blogs are writers too, whether you get paid for it or not.

Sometimes our words feel like our "babies." Like babies, they are held within until they are fully formed and ready to meet the world. As if they were children, we fuss over them, making sure our verbs tell the truth, our adjectives don't hurt anyone, our sentences don't go out without their pronouns on, and our paragraphs remember how to find their way home at the end of the day.

Last week, some of my babies moved in with someone else.

Several paragraphs of my writing found its way into someone else's work. Turns out the act was unintentional and completely inadvertant. The responsible party has been just that: responsible. She apologized, begged forgiveness, and felt generally pretty upset about the entire incident. As did I.

But a funny thing happened on the way to the weekend. Somewhere along the road, I let go.

Let go of the hurt; let go of the anger; let go of my ego; let go of the fear that I was being taken advantage of; let go of the very words themselves.

I have been blessed with a great gift. I don't presume to think the talent is mine. As I told Amy this week, I sit and God provides the words. And he (she) hasn't failed me yet.

From the beginning, when I journaled as a way to further therapy and lift myself out of the depths of clinical depression, through my years with the "Writing as Ministry" program at Earlham School of Religion, and on into my current project, the objective of this whole endeavor has been to help and to heal. Not fame; not fortune (10% of all profit goes to the fight against child hunger.) Ministry. Education. Outreach. Hope for a better way to live our lives and for our readers to live theirs.

The words are not mine. They never were. They were given to me by grace, to keep safely for a while, before releasing to the world. Ultimately, the words will be what God means them to be. If they touch someone, it is irrelevant whether they have my name on them. Their purpose is fulfilled; their potential realized.

Sometimes, you have to let things go, if you want them to thrive.

Eye Candy Friday - July 4th Edition

Today's post is all about the red, white, and blue. Yup, this one is for all you patriotic souls whose heart beats a little faster and eyes tear up a bit at the strains of our national anthem.

I present to you:

JULY 4TH - THE MOVING PICTURE(S)!

RED
(l. to r.) Sundara sock in Sangria over Garnet, Fleece Artist Nova sock in Sangria, Handmaiden Sea Wool sock in Hercules, CyberFiber sock in Red Maple, Castleman sock club yarn (no color given), Chasing Rainbows Dyeworks sock in Madrona, Lorna's Laces sock in Irving Park, and Apple Laine Apple Pie sock in Arizona. (front) Artyarns Supermerino in color #115. (back) Rowan Calmer in Garnet.
WHITE (well, beige and ivory mostly, only one true white, but why quibble on a holiday?)
(l. to r.) Fleece Artist Merino sock in Ivory, Rowan Summer Tweed in Ghost, Handmaiden Cashmere (mmm, cashmere...) in Antique Ivory, and Lorna's Lace's Helen's Lace in Natural. (left rear) Handmaiden Silk Maiden in Ivory. (right - front to back and l. to r.) Rowan 4-ply in Bleached, Karabella Vintage cotton color # 311, RYC Luxury Cotton DK in Marble, Nashua Ecologie Cotton in Chestnut, and (bringing up the rear) Adrienne Vittadini Mia in Cream.
AND BLUE (lots of blue, and I could have pulled more!)
(left front) Yarn Pirate sock in Rain, Fleece Artist Merino sock in Mermaid. (right front) The Fibre Co. Terra in Medium Indigo and Mountain Colors Bearfoot in Larkspur. (l. to r.) Rowan Summer Tweed in Denim, Handmaiden Great Big Sea Silk in Ocean, Oceanwind Knits sock in Vancouver Island, Shelridge Farm Soft Touch Ultra in Painted Desert, Noelle's Noodles sport in Starry Night, Spinning Bunny sock in Blueberry Patch, (front to back) Rowan Calmer in Slosh, Rowan Bamboo Tape in Wode, Rowan Cotton Glace in Twilight, and (bringing up the rear) Dream in Color Smooshy sock in Deep Seaflower.

Whew! Let's take a moment to let that digest and cleanse our palate...

Okay. So the pictures aren't really moving. I'm competing for your time and attention with some heavy Hollywood hitters here! I'm just sayin'...

Maybe the pictures will move you. They certainly moved the yarn involved - from stash to studio floor. No wonder my stash is in such disarray! I have to keep pulling out things to keep my readers envious happy. It's a small price to pay, I know. And you guys are totally worth it.

You want WIPS? We got em comin' right up...




RED (a few more inches in)
See yesterday's post for details.






WHITE (if you press the issue)
Josephine from the current issue of IK.





AND BLUE (You sensing a theme at work here?)
Knitty's Convertible in Great Big Seasilk





Put them all together and you've got...

(drum roll - hey, can't have a summer picture without special effects, can you?)





A really sad looking flag.





Sorry folks! It's the best I can do.

And now, take a look at this!

(deep breath) Ready? Here we go:
(from 12:00 clockwise) Stonebarn Fibers Gypsy Girl Creations in Blackberry Bramble, Spritely Goods Fey in Spring Tulips, Seacost Handpaints Panda in Autumn, Artyarns Ultramerino in color #136, Blue Moon STR in Fire on the Mountain, Spinning Bunny sock in Paintbox, Lisa Souza sock in Joseph's Coat, Yarn All Over sock in Good Day Sunshine, Blue Moon STR in Farmhouse, Cider Moon Icicle in Andromeda, and Spunky Eclectic Speedy in Tulip.

And there is my frogged monkey. Right smack in the middle of things, wouldn't you know it. You just can't keep a good bad monkey down. (Zen String Serendipity in Aloha for those of you who are new to the game.)

Why?

Because you just can't end July 4th without fireworks.
(Well, you could, but why would you want to?)

Have a glorious fourth, y'all!

What a Girl Wants, What a Girl Needs...

Pie
Pie
Me oh my
Nothing tastes sweet, wet, salty and dry
all at once o well it's pie
Apple!
Pumpkin!
Minced
an' wet bottom.
Come to your place everyday if you've got em'
Pie
Me o my
I love pie

- Andie McDowell in the movie "Michael"

OK. I've been a good girl. I've waited patiently. I haven't lynched my mail delivery person or even emailed Chameleon Colorworks to find out what the friggin' delay is.

I heard project spectrum was all about red and black this summer. I noticed the annual increase in flag waving and bunting bearing, all in patriotic shades of red, white, and blue as we drew closer to Independence Day. I sighed...

And checked the mail again.

No black cherry laceweight.

A person can only take so much.

Am I right?

After weeks of anticipation, I could take it no longer. I wanted, I Craved, I NEEDED:

cherry pie.








And I needed it B-A-A-D!

I went stash diving, in search of something, anything to help me get my cherry fix. Came up with three skeins of Handmaiden lace silk that were too lightweight for the project they were intended for.

Found this pattern in Nora Gaughan's Knitting Nature.

It calls for a gauge of single strand on ones of nine stitches to an inch. Double strand on size five needles yields seven to an inch. Wound one up and swatched. Perfect. At both gauges.

Now I know what you're thinking.

How is that totally embarrassing belly baring top going to look on a fifty year old goddess woman?

Not to worry. I am adding two and a half inches onto the length so my rolls of fat pleasantly plump stomachs don't show.

Sat down last night and cast on. By this afternoon I had enough done to tell whether it was working or not.











Oh yeah, it's working!

This is the band that lies at the bottom of the main body of the garment. After seaming, you take a single strand of the lace silk, pick up, and knit the fractal pieces along the bottom in garter stitch.





The shine is fabulous; the drape is luscious; the color shifts so subtly between crimson and berry, you almost think you must have imagined it.













The knitting gods have smiled on me.


Because sometimes a girl just needs pie...










a la mode!

WHY?

You know, I thought I knew what I wanted to do, what I needed to find:

And then came Ravelry.

And I discovered there was so much out there that I had never even imagined. The more I looked the more I began to envision ten, twenty, fifty new projects (to go along with the one hundred or so I already have in my imaginary queue.

Which raises an interesting question: How much is too much?

I know you are all yelling "There IS no such thing!" at the top of your lungs. I can hear you all the way over here in the heartland of America. And considering how few of you there are at this point, you must be screaming pretty loud out there. And there are times when I would join you. But not today.

Because today I am ashamed of how much yarn I have already, and how hard my acquisitive little id wants more, more, more! Regardless of the fact that my stash is multiplying so fast that even as I pack it up to make the closets and cabinets look bigger, somehow the stash keeps gaining (or at least maintaining) ground.

Wanna see? You do realize that I am baring my soul here, as well as my addiction stash.

And I don't use the word addiction lightly. Compulsive behavior has a long history in my family tree, unfortunately.

So why, when I have all I need: friends, family, a loving home, a fulfilling career, a fun hobby great passion, good serviceable health, do I continue to look towards the next project?

Is it simply the creative urge? For if we are created in God's image, you can bet there is a strong dose of creativity involved. It ain't for nothing folks, that we call God, "Creator!"

Is it the lure of the new and different? Probably that plays into it, although I often find myself drawn to a yarn or pattern I have used before.

Is it competitive? She who dies with the most stash wins? Is it simply a case of "the other man's yarn is always greener?"

Could it be fear: of being left out, or worse, left behind?

Or is there something else subtly at work here? If our current projects always take a backseat to new endeavors, aren't we somehow missing the point of why we began knitting in the first place?

Do we forget where we are, in favor of dreams of where we are going?

I don't know the answers. I only pose the questions.

As for me, I have promised my family, my God, and, most importantly, myself to refrain from buying yarn until my UFO pile and stash have diminished. I figure that will be sometime in 2012.

Ravelry: the devil's playground.

At least until 2012...

The Day After

After all the recent monkey business, I felt the need for some mindless knitting. I started work on Brandon Mably's Julapa from this spring's Rowan Magazine, but I just wasn't loving it. Since the thing is a trio of huge rectangles, broken only by the change of color, I decided that perhaps there was such a thing as TOO simple.

I think it's call B-O-R-I-N-G...

So I picked up a little something from my stash and cast on for a nice, demure lace scarf.

I know it doesn't look like much here. Color's all washed (or is it shaded?) out...









But a little stretch puts the roses back in her cheeks.


pattern: Heartstrings Crest of the Wave Lace Scarf
yarn: Woolen Rabbit laceweight in Cracklin' Rosie



Purty, ain't she? And best of all - cooperative (unlike some socks I might mention.)

Don't worry about the Desert Shawl. I have reassured her that she will be back in the lineup just as soon as the heat is off. (no, she's not on the lam - unlike Lulu.) It's just too hot to sit around with a lap blanket of wool. The furball is hot enough, thank you!



"Hey, who you callin' Furball?"






And speaking of thank yous...

Thank you, dear readers, for your condolences on my recent loss, but they may have been a bit premature..

Because what should I find going on behind my back?


"What? I'm just hanging around..."






"But I thought I washed my hands of you yesterday - you and your evil kin."

Wait! Where are you going?










No!



Couldn't be!





But it is!



Wait for it...






monkey bars

A Tail (er, tale) of Two Monkeys

It was the best of socks. It was the worst of socks.

It was two one and a half socks with GS (not to be confused with MS - Go Claudia!)

Goldilocks Syndrome...
You know the drill, right?
One was too big
And one was too small

And one was J-U-S-T R-I-G-H-T (yeah, well, maybe not so much)

Mr. & Mrs. Monkey both signed in this morning for cosmetic surgery.

Scalpel?









Incision









Going...









Going...









Gone.









A few moments of silence please.

Question: If they're the ones having surgery, why am I feeling the pain?

When I invited these socks into my home, I had no intent of spending the entire month with them. They just don't want to leave. Maybe if I played loud rap music all night long? How about Sanjaya videos? Yeah, that'd do it.

So what do I have to show for my hardworking hospitality?

BALLS!!!!









I think that says it all.

Heart Candy Friday

What do you look for when it is raining outside and your house looks like this?


















Sometimes, eye candy (like sock yarn) seems to be out of stock. Oh, you know that more is on back order, but you want it today, not six weeks from now. Maybe you even need it today, because you've had a rough week.

Can't go outside because it's raining. Must be something picturesque in the house somewhere, right?
There is...

if you know where to look. Or, more to the point, how to look.

If we only use our eyes, we see packing boxes and dust bunnies, laundry piles and crowded "in" baskets, grass that needs mowing and dishes that need doing.

But if we look with our hearts, the view undergoes a remarkable change. As we shift our focus from macro to wide angle, we begin to see beyond the surface, beyond the mundane, beyond our limitations. We remember where we have been, we recognize where we are now, and we envision where we have yet to explore. It is this engagement of heart that allows us to imagine a coat of many colors when we behold a humble fleece - full of burrs, sheep sweat, and just plain dirt.

Here's what I saw this rainy June morning:

a thank you gift from a dear friend, purchased at a cute little gift shop by the shore of Lake Michigan on a sun filled October afternoon







A fledgling refrigerator masterpiece by my niece (from her early stick figure period)





An inspiration angel from one of my writer friends. She is holding a bird and the card reads, "Take the freedom to soar, be what you want to be." She keeps watch over me as I write (both the angel and the friend.)

A chipped tile trivet that bears the hand print of Baby Boy (now twenty for those of you who are new to the blog, or who aren't paying attention, or who have trouble remembering whether you turned off the oven last night and tied your shoelaces this morning (that's me!) Mother's day 1995. He was eight. I was lucky (and knew it.)

Eye candy surrounds us, if we just open our hearts.

Instead of our eyes.

Cycles

To everything there is a season,

a time for every purpose under the sun.
A time to be born and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
a time to kill and a time to heal ...
a time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance ...
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to lose and a time to seek;
a time to rend and a time to sew;
a time to keep silent and a time to speak;
a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace.

ecclesiastes 3:1-8

These yarns were purchased in February and March
































These were purchased in April and May























And these in June and July

Notice anything?

There is a distinct progression of color here. In the waning days of winter, I am likely to buy lightweight wools in spring colors, figuring that they will bridge the gap between when I want spring to come and when it actually gets here. Blues, greens, pinks...if you can see it in a baby store, I buy it.

Come April and May and I find my thoughts (and buying habits) turning to thoughts of hot summer beaches and sun washed picket fences. Neutrals like white, beige, sand, pebble, natural, twine, and cafe au lait dominate my internal color wheel.

But with the true summer heat that arrives in June and July, I find myself drawn to spicy colors. Oriental carpet colors. Marrakesh colors. Torrid as the sun in Mexico City colors. Hot as a flamenco dancer colors.

And it is all as predictable as malapropisms in a George W. press conference.

There is a definite cycle to my knitting, as there is to the seasons in my garden , and in my life.

In our early years we are constantly looking ahead. We can't wait until...

• We're one of the big kids
• We get to High school
• We get our driver's licence
• Our parents let us stay out past midnight
• We graduate
• We move away from home
• We get a good job
• We find the right person to share our lives with

Our desire for the future dominates our enjoyment of the present. We anticipate, when we could be savoring. We are in the planting stage of life.

As we move on, it seems we are never around. Now that we have our own homes, we're never there. Swim lessons, school functions, family vacations, baseball games, job pressures - all take a hand and contribute to the busyness of this period of life. This is the time for watering, and fertilizing, time to watch things grow. I loved those years of my life. They were fruitful.

But now I'm in high summer, and the lure of faraway places beckons me (if there's any money left after college tuition is paid.) I am spicy and earthy at this phase of my life. Not for me, the sugary sweet pastels of ice cream and cupcakes with sprinkles on them. I crave the lusty full-bodied, savories of life. I want curry, and turmeric, and jalapeno peppers.

I know that time will move on, the harvest is yet to be fully gathered in. And I know that December with its chill winds and woolen memories will come for me, as it does for us all.

But for now, I am content to turn my face to the sun and marinate in the exotic spice that enlivens my days. Whether you are planting, growing, or harvesting this day,may you do likewise.

SNAKEBIT!

Thanks for all the comments about Lily. She appreciates the free beauty advice. (my family finds it peculiar that I name my projects.) Honestly? I'm just too lazy to write "the lily shawl" or "the monkey socks." I know that knitting isn't alive! Jeesh!

Except for when it's out to get you.

Case in point: my Flaxen yarn. I have cast on for IK's Lotus Blossom Tank three times, and each time I have somehow twisted the join.

Now I have been knitting for years. I have done fair isle. I have done intarsia. I have done aran fisherman knits with umpty-bazillion cables (exactly how many is umpty-bazillion, anyway? Is it more or less than kazillion?)

I have done Elizabeth Zimmerman, Meg Swanson, Kaffe Fassett, and Adrienne Vittadini. Hell, I've even done Alice Starmore. Never once, have I twisted a join on a circular project. That's a beginner's mistake.

But somehow, I twisted not once, not twice, but three times! At the end of the day I had linguine. And a headache.

I got the idea for the project from Cassie. She was having problems with her Lotus also. Although her problem was different from my problem.




Maybe it's not the yarn. Maybe it's not me. Maybe, just maybe, it's the pattern that's snake bit. Or possessed. You pick.

You can believe what you want. I believe I'll have a second cup of coffee. And contemplate the methods God employs to keep me humble.

Feathers, Fans, & FAT

Notice something?











Let's take a closer look, shall we?









How about now?

Notice the distinct lack of actual blocking being performed by my sock blockers, as evidenced by the wrinkled heel and the loose ribbing at the top? (And folks, these are BIG sock blockers. My family doesn't call me Big Foot for nothing.)

I knew this would happen.

I warned him.

But did he listen?

NO-O-O-O-O!!!

This, my friends, is a sock that has shot right past its optimal weight and has become obese.

Too much beer and TV watching will do that.

Have cast on for Mrs. Monkey on a smaller needle. She should be svelte and sleek.

Then I will put Monkey on a diet. It's a tough job, but somebody has to do it!

Thank you for all the kind comments on Mothy. I'm pretty proud of her. Wore her to yesterday's business lunch with my co-author, and saw envious glances from all the other ladies in the cafe. (Well, they certainly weren't looking at me!)

Nobody took a guess at what Anne's flower was going to be, but I am sure you have all been losing sleep over it. You are just too proud to admit you have no idea what it wants to be when it grows up. Don't worry, I won't keep you in suspense any longer.

This:









leads to this:

seasilk in (l to r) melon, raspberry, and berry. Aren't the colors spot on?






which will become this:

Feather and Fan Shawl from A Gathering of Lace

For the Inspired by Nature KAL

I'm going to radiate the color from the center out, alternating skeins at the color switchovers to blend them into a gradual wash of color. I haven't decided yet whether or not I will try to add the brown of the stamens or the green of the leafy background into it. What do you all think?

Well, that's all for today. If you haven't donated yet to Claudia's Ride, I hear she is only a few hundred dollars short of UPDATE: she has blown past her upgraded goal of $30,000 for MS. Go give now. You'll like yourself in the morning.